PLEASE…permit me to break the rules this week as I set a very disturbing scenario in line with last week’s article. Personally, I have treated all correspondences in strict confidence for many years but there comes a time when certain rules must be broken; I sincerely hope that some couples will relate to this as well as take the right steps and salvage their marriages.
Dear Elizabeth; you gave a graphic detail of happenings in my home in your article titled… WHEN LOVE IS LOST, IT’S NOT THE END!!
My wife and I used to love each other in last 30 years, but now we are just like strangers to each other. I have tried everything I could but she told me point blank that she does not love me anymore and I don’t love her anymore either. I am in my early 50s and she is in her late 40s, we have amazing children and she has shifted the love to them while I also decided to shift my love too to another woman. What was once a disturbing experience is becoming a thing of the past…what is your opinion?
This picture is similar in many marriages today as couples continue to live in denial of their hurts and pains as they remain in a state of confusion and unclear of their purpose for their marriage.
For some, it’s a case of common needs and expectations that those needs must be met by force without considering their strengths and for others, it is accumulated afflictions within the marriage which have never been resolved.
Are you at a crossroad in your marriage and struggling to make a decision with false choices?
For the kids’ sake
If your continuous denial of your situation is to save your children from getting trapped, the bad news is, they are already trapped and may also know more than you can possibly imagine and they may be acting your scripts too. You can do nothing and hope that one day, the kids will understand. But they are already hurting by your behaviors and hostility. Whether you are in or out, you are definitely putting yourselves and the children at risk and if the situation gets any messier, they will never forgive you both for destroying the family.
Signs of weakness
You may think you have met the love of your life who will take your mind away from your marital problems, unless you really understand and face up to the potential impact of your infidelity; you may be making the biggest mistake of your life.
Infidelity is a sign of weakness, if you want to be honest with yourself; do the right thing by embracing your wife, ask her forgiveness and take back your marriage before you destroy everything you’ve worked for. The sooner you are honest with yourselves the better your chances of saving your marriage.